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Then the fight started

Discussion in 'Humour : Jokes : Quizzes' started by Johnnyny, Jul 15, 2008.

  1. Johnnyny

    Johnnyny
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    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I
    take her someplace expensive....
    so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started...

    ************************************************************************

    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office
    to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for
    my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized
    I had left my wallet at home.

    I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
    have to go home and come back later.

    The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

    So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
    She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
    and she processed my Social Security application.

    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
    experience at the Social Security office.

    She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
    might have gotten disability, too'

    And then the fight started.....

    ***********************************************************************

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
    school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
    she sat alone at a nearby table.

    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right
    after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

    'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a
    person could go on celebrating that long?'

    And then the fight started.....

    ***********************************************************************

    I rear-ended a car this morning.

    So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the
    other driver got out of his car.

    You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
    little things just seem funny?

    Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
    shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

    So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then
    which one are you?'

    And then the fight started..... :D
     
  2. Trishee

    Trishee
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    Stealing these!
     
  3. Lynne

    Lynne
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    Oy!! Caught you!!! Put them back Missy!!

    :bounce3:
     
  4. Trishee

    Trishee
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    What? I was dead at the time... I was on the moon, with Steve.

    (Eddie Izzard reference for those who don't know)